Ever notice that so-called good things—Love, Peace, Happiness—tend to come to you or fall into your lap, while the chase for them tends to leave you barren, frustrated, and exhausted? There’s good reason for this. In fact, many years ago, when I was an ice hockey forward (whose role was to score), my father used to leave me notes demonstrating this interesting phenomenon. He’d say, “Now, don’t go crashing into the pile around the net. Go soft to the pile and allow the puck to pop out to you.”
And today, I provide my daughter (a field hockey scorer) with the same type of reminder, sometimes with the following twist:
“Who you are is not the perpetual activity of chasing, seeking, or resisting. Who you are will never yearn to move toward objects and things. Rather, who you are is the eternal state of being tranquil, whole, or still. Objects and things—that which is not tranquil, whole, or still—will move toward and dissolve into you. So, kid, just be you. The game will come to you. The true You."
And here you have the reason why “good things” can only come to us, we cannot go to them:
The true Self is permanently present; it is absent of lack; it never waivers. It, therefore, cannot chase. On the other hand, acting from insecurity, lack, desperation, or chasing? That’s the work of who you are not: the separate self or ego. The separate self needs objects and things to validate its apparent existence. That’s why it’s drawn toward them. But because the separate self, like objects and things, doesn’t actually exist (it’s who we are not), this is always a foolhardy or dog-chasing-tail type of quest.
Don’t chase. Or, as my father would say, “crash into the pile.” Do the opposite of what you think the urge is telling you. Go soft. My bet is that both the true Self (Love, Peace, and Happiness) and the puck will end up on your stick in no time.