Insecurity and Attachment | Garret Kramer | A New Paradigm in Sports Psychology and Performance Coaching

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Insecurity and Attachment

Practically always, new clients, players, or coaches with whom I’m working, will talk about the “dreaded habit of insecurity.” They’ll claim to be insecure about this situation or that. They’ll seek to end this apparently detrimental experience. Plus, they’ll assume that part of my role is to help them cope their way out of it.

Well, my role is not that, even a little bit. It’s actually the opposite, or this:

It’s to remind them that insecurity is the natural effect of one thing: attaching their identity or well-being to this situation or that. And I’m defining a situation as a circumstance, event, relationship, environment, object, or anything that evolves, changes, appears, or disappears. In fact, insecurity is SUPPOSED to occur when we identify with something that’s transient. It’s completely normal.

To illustrate, many of us have felt insecure or out of sorts as we lived through the ups and downs of our chosen career. However, we don’t feel this way because of our career. We feel this way when we link who we are, our identity or sense of self, to a transient situation like a career. And, again, when we attach who we are to what’s transient—i.e., attach who we are to who we are not—insecurity or anxious feelings will always result.

Now fortunately, once we understand where insecurity is coming from and what it is telling us, an intuitive solution tends to appear, and here’s what it is:

Since attachment to something that evolves, changes, appears, or disappears no longer makes sense, instead, we start turning our attention toward what always remains the same. Toward what always has our back. Toward what’s perpetually dependable and unfailing. Toward the only thing that’s permanent: the true Self, Awareness, Consciousness, or God.

And as we turn our attention toward, and reattach our identity to, who we truly are in the first place, we experience nothing but security, peace, and love.

Inward and up,
Garret