When Struggle Strikes

In my experience, people behave one of two ways when struggle strikes: They look outside and grind for causes and cures; or they take meditative timeouts seeking peace of mind. Unfortunately, in either case, they’re lessening the odds of ending their struggle. In fact, they usually end up perpetuating it (e.g., a slump in sports).… Read More

The Spirit of Thought

The key to peace of mind is understanding that you don’t control your mind. As I’ve often said: “You’re not in charge of your thinking—or the feelings that follow.” Now, assuming that I’m correct, where does your thinking come from? Who or what determines the ebb and flow of thought and then feelings? At the… Read More

Where Answers Come From

Following Troy Merritt’s win at last week’s event on the PGA tour, many were quick to point out that he had missed the cut in his proceeding five tournaments. These same writers and experts also expressed the opinion that never giving up, or grinding away, was the reason that Merritt found what he was looking… Read More

When to Listen to Your Thinking—and When to Discard It

Here are two questions I’m often asked: “When should I listen to my thinking?” “When should I discard it?” The answers are: never and always. Productive choices and behaviors occur instinctually. To illustrate, let’s say while in the midst of writing an article, I get a case of writer’s block. I then think that I need… Read More

Understanding Versus Trying to Control

Take a moment and reflect on this question: If your son were upset and claiming that a schoolmate had hurt his feelings, how would you respond? A. “Don’t let anyone hurt your feelings.” B. “No one has the power to hurt your feelings.” While the difference between A and B may appear subtle, it most… Read More

Normal Mistake, Normal Illusion

If you play shortstop in baseball, you’re going to miss groundballs. If you play golf, you’re going to miss short putts. If you play forward in hockey, you’re going to miss open nets. While these mistakes are normal aspects of playing these sports—they are still mistakes. Likewise, if you’re a human being, you’re going to… Read More

An Update on “Confidence”

What follows is an updated version of an article deemed “contrarian” by some. Let me know what you think… GK — Here’s some misinformation that I’ve heard while watching sports programs over the past few months: “Success breeds confidence.” This morning, for instance, I listened to a golf announcer ask a PGA tour player: “Did… Read More

True Control

Have you ever heard a coach, teacher, employer, or parent say: “Focus on the things you can control; don’t worry about what you can’t control”? I’ve heard it plenty, and it never sounded quite right. Just the other day, a well-known productivity expert gave an example of this line of thinking. He said, “You must… Read More

The Thought Police

They are everywhere: the thought police. In our churches and temples; in our schools and universities; on the coaching staffs of our sports teams, in our psychologists’ offices; in our meditation, hypnosis, and exercise classes; in our positive-thinking seminars; in our own families. Somewhere in the evolution of human beings, the notion that a person’s thoughts were controllable made its… Read More

More about “The Difference”

Here’s an updated re-post about the difference between a method (or a theory, strategy, or concept) and a truth. And why grasping this difference is important. The “Atkin’s Diet” is a method. Purposely going through a routine before you hit a golf shot is a method. Trying to think positively when you feel down is a… Read More