My Dilemma and Yours

This week, I write to my students, clients, and colleagues. If that’s not you, read on anyway. A takeaway or two is waiting. G — I admit it. At times, I blame my upsets on those experts in the fields of self-help, mental coaching, and psychology who propagate this dual misunderstanding (the outside-in misunderstanding): Something… Read More

Free Will?

Man, did last week’s article ( create a stir—at least in my inbox. You guys either loved the direction I pointed or thought it was crazy. To be specific on the crazy, most disagreement revolved around the question of free will. One of you said: “You can’t tell me that human beings don’t have the… Read More

The Heart of Choice

Note: Consider the direction this article points and, whether you agree or not, see what implications occur to you. As always, feel free to reach out with comments, insights, or questions. G — Simply peruse your favorite social-media sites and you’re likely to come across some version of the following statement: Happiness, confidence, and a… Read More

Data Versus Truth

There I was, on stage at the PGA show last week with several other mental-performance coaches and authors, and one of them (a well-known psychologist) tells the audience that my contention that the human experience is created from inside to out is preposterous. Not only that, he claims that “the research” undoubtedly proves that circumstances… Read More

How Do I Know?

Every day, no exception, a reader, client, member of an audience, social-media friend, or critic will ask me some version of the following question: How do you know, for sure, that the causes of our feelings are not found outside (in circumstance), and the cures for our feelings are not found outside (in coping strategies,… Read More

The Foundation

In my many years as coach or consultant, I’ve come across just about every psychological, motivational, or educational system on the market. Intellectual ones, zen ones; some born from research, some from life experience; some from trained experts, some from random dudes on social media. All of them well-meaning, most carefully considered, and some really… Read More

The Common Habit of Replacing Mistruth with Mistruth

You might not realize it, but every day, in a quest to ease our suffering, the self-help world encourage us to take mistruth and replace it with more mistruth. And since this obviously benefits no one, in this article, I’m going to point out some frequent examples of this and provide explanation for each. As… Read More

Victims of Circumstance

Twice in a row. On consecutive calls last week, I had players tell me that their hockey teams had fallen victim to circumstance the night before. What does it mean to fall victim to circumstance? It means to examine a life situation, make a negative assumption about what’s going to take place, and then to… Read More

The Key to Consistency

Here’s a brief article to remind you about the sole key to consistency—in sports, business, relationships, or anything you do: Understanding that inner ups and downs are normal. That’s it. The extent to which you grasp that it’s normal for thought (energy) to ebb and flow—and that it’s normal for your mood to trend with… Read More

Sticking With Truth

Here’s a quote that hangs on the locker room wall of a team I visited last week: “Your thinking creates your reality. So to avoid negativity, think positive thoughts.” Regrettably, these words reveal a common flaw—caused by a common misunderstanding—in the coaching profession (in counseling, teaching, and parenting, too). First, I’m going to talk about… Read More