Self-help. A term completely misunderstood. How can entire industry call itself one thing and deliver the exact opposite? Have you ever read a self-help book in which the author didn’t offer his or her ideas, strategies, or techniques for feeling or performing better? Me neither. And there you have it: Someone else’s ideas, strategies, or… Read More

Coaching Paradigms: Inside-Out versus Outside-In

I’ve received many questions about last week’s coaching article. The most frequent revolved around what an inside-out coaching (mentoring or counseling) paradigm looks like compared to an outside-in one. This week, I’ve done my best to succinctly clear that up. So here goes: Outside-in coaches: Offer techniques, tools, strategies, prescriptions, or fix-it methods. Link a person’s… Read More

Twenty-Two Uncommon Ideas for Coaches to Consider

Below, in no specific order, are what I deem to be the most important and often-overlooked ideas for coaches (or mentors of any kind) to consider. I’ve listed them without further explanation because I’d like you to reflect on the list and see what makes sense for you. After that, if you have questions, please reach… Read More

About Practice

When the demon is at your door, in the morning it won’t be there no more… —Steely Dan — One criticism of my work, including my books, is that I don’t offer ways to practice the lessons I teach. One reviewer of Stillpower even said: “I continued reading the book in hopes of learning how… Read More

The Order of Things

Here’s an out-of-the-ordinary question: What comes first, a situation or a feeling? If you’re a hockey player, for instance, does scoring a goal lead to an elevated feeling state or does an elevated feeling state lead to scoring a goal? Although our feelings and perceptions of the world outside come and go so quickly that… Read More

Raw Emotion, Plain Truth

Here’s something fascinating that happens to many of my new clients: When they consider that their feelings are created from within them, and are not the result of something that’s going on in their lives, they say, “Inside-out feels so familiar; so right. Why have I never heard about this before?” Indeed, that’s what takes… Read More

In Control

Have you ever heard a coach, teacher, employer, or parent say: “Control the things you can control; don’t worry about what you can’t control”? I’ve heard it plenty, and it never felt quite right to me. Just the other day, a well-known productivity expert gave an example of this line of thinking. He said, “You… Read More

Welcome to the Human Race

During a workshop I led last week, the first question I asked was: “How many of you would say that your feelings, to a certain extent, come from your thinking?” Everyone’s hand went up. The second question I asked was: “How many of you would say that your feelings, to a certain extent, come from… Read More

Do You Believe in This?

Here’s what I believe in—and why this work is so important to me. How about you? I believe that a paradigm shift in the arenas of psychological well-being (and performance) is vital. I believe that psychological health rests within every person on this planet. I believe that there is a direct link between one’s thinking… Read More

The NFL Scandals: Time for State-of-Mind Policies

Last week’s article ( caused quite a stir among this e-mail list. Interestingly enough, your responses ranged from extremely complimentary to extremely critical. And while I appreciate both, in this article I want to focus on the critical. In particular, these questions posed: “How can you say that Ray Rice shouldn’t be punished?” And, “… Read More